A week or so before the RT convention in April, I started packing. At my mother’s advice, I tried on the dresses I was taking.
Left to my own devices, I wouldn’t have bothered. These things already fit me, right? Wrong. I’d put on a few pounds and they all showed at the worst places: right above the decolletage on my strapless frocks. Ack! How can someone who doesn’t even have boobs have overboob squish-age?
So immediately I took a look at the Master Cleanse–the lemon-juice-plus-red-pepper-flake-fluid-diet I’d heard my friends talk about–and immediately jumped away from my laptop in fright. That @#$% ain’t for the faint of heart, and I am nothing if not faint of heart. After I recovered my will to live, I went to read GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow’s newsletter. Because my gossip lady is always talking about Ms. Paltrow, I occasionally take a look at GOOP and remembered that a while ago Ms. Paltrow posted a one-week cleanse of her own.
Remember what I said about being faint of heart? I didn’t manage Gwyneth’s cleanse either. But I did come away with a great recipe for a quick, nutritious, and pretty tasty breakfast shake.
- 1 cup of blueberries, blackberries, or raspberries
- 1 cup of unsweetened almond milk (or just enough to cover the berries in your blender)
- 1 scoop of your favorite protein powder (I used my husband’s Muscle Milk)
Pour everything into a blender and blend to your preferred consistency. I like mine smooth, Senior Kidlet prefers his berries to be chunkier. His Hawtness likes milk so we make his with milk.
(If you are a careful examiner of pictures and wonder what is that green substance, it is a scoop of Pro Green powder. Ms. Paltrow specified it. I bought a canister in a moment of weakness. It tastes like grass powder on its own, but kind of disappears in the shake. But I chose not to include it here because it’s hella expensive and now that I’d finished with the one at home, I most likely won’t be buying it again.)
That hand is not mine, by the way, but belongs to Sr. Kidlet.
It makes a big old glass of smoothie, gets my energy up, and get me to actually ingest all those gargantuan Costco containers of berries I can’t help buying when they are in season. If you are on a low-carb diet–hi, Meredith–it’s pretty perfect. If you are on a vegan diet–hi, Janine–with a soy-derived protein powder, you are good to go too. If you are me, who doesn’t like to eat anything healthy, low-carb, or low-fat, but will make an occasional sacrifice to get rid of overboob squishage, this is SPARTA!