Recipe Post: Writer’s Breakfast

A week or so before the RT convention in April, I started packing.  At my mother’s advice, I tried on the dresses I was taking.

Left to my own devices, I wouldn’t have bothered.  These things already fit me, right?  Wrong.  I’d put on a few pounds and they all showed at the worst places: right above the decolletage on my strapless frocks.  Ack!  How can someone who doesn’t even have boobs have overboob squish-age?

So immediately I took a look at the Master Cleanse–the lemon-juice-plus-red-pepper-flake-fluid-diet I’d heard my friends talk about–and immediately jumped away from my laptop in fright.  That @#$% ain’t for the faint of heart, and I am nothing if not faint of heart.  After I recovered my will to live, I went to read GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow’s newsletter.  Because my gossip lady is always talking about Ms. Paltrow, I occasionally take a look at GOOP and remembered that a while ago Ms. Paltrow posted a one-week cleanse of her own.

Remember what I said about being faint of heart?  I didn’t manage Gwyneth’s cleanse either.  But I did come away with a great recipe for a quick, nutritious, and pretty tasty breakfast shake.

You will need:

  • 1 cup of blueberries, blackberries, or raspberries
  • 1 cup of unsweetened almond milk (or just enough to cover the berries in your blender)
  • 1 scoop of your favorite protein powder (I used my husband’s Muscle Milk)

Pour everything into a blender and blend to your preferred consistency.  I like mine smooth, Senior Kidlet prefers his berries to be chunkier.  His Hawtness likes milk so we make his with milk.

(If you are a careful examiner of pictures and wonder what is that green substance, it is a scoop of Pro Green powder.  Ms. Paltrow specified it.  I bought a canister in a moment of weakness.  It tastes like grass powder on its own, but kind of disappears in the shake.  But I chose not to include it here because it’s hella expensive and now that I’d finished with the one at home, I most likely won’t be buying it again.)

That hand is not mine, by the way, but belongs to Sr. Kidlet.

It makes a big old glass of smoothie, gets my energy up, and get me to actually ingest all those gargantuan Costco containers of berries I can’t help buying when they are in season.  If you are on a low-carb diet–hi, Meredith–it’s pretty perfect.  If you are on a vegan diet–hi, Janine–with a soy-derived protein powder, you are good to go too.  If you are me, who doesn’t like to eat anything healthy, low-carb, or low-fat, but will make an occasional sacrifice to get rid of overboob squishage, this is SPARTA!

Bon Appetit.

12 thoughts on “Recipe Post: Writer’s Breakfast

  1. I hear you on boob squishage.

    I have three weeks till a wedding with many twenty-something hardbodies, and my forty-something non-hardbodied self is appalled at the Very Bad Things that have happend to my metabolism. Used to be I could semi cut down on regular portions for a week or two and presto: an acceptable self for whatever big event was coming up.

    No – bloody – longer.

    *sigh*

  2. Sherry – You went from thinking about a diet cleanse system (starvation) to drinking a smoothie (healthy). I don’t think they accomplish quite the same thing. LOL

    Why isn’t there something called the milkshake diet? Instead it’s the grapefruit diet; or the boiled egg diet; or the Master Cleanse.

    From your pictures, you look thin, so don’t worry about it.

    • Starvation is never an acceptable option in the Thomas household. We take our eating very seriously.

      Actually, lately, I’ve been hearing about something called the Hollywood cookie diet. Too bad I’m not a huge cookie eater.

      And do you remember that Britney Spears picture where she wears a top that says, “I’m a virgin but this is a really old shirt.” That pictures of mine on the website are not very new, is all am saying. 🙂

  3. I might try this recipe, or some variation on it.

    If you ever make it to LA, I’ll have to take you to M. Cafe de Chaya, restaurant whose menu was deigned by Gwyneth Paltrow’s former personal chef. It’s healthy and pretty tasty, too.

  4. Forgive my atrocious spelling. That’s “designed,” not “deigned” and I’m also missing an “a” in front of “restaurant.”

    Oh well, at least my linkage appears to have worked.

  5. LMAO! (I wish)
    Sherry, I was LOL at this. You. Crack. Me. Up.
    Interestingly, I was indulging in an Almond Breeze/frozen mango/frozen banana smoothie at lunch. One of my
    FAVES!!!

    If you use the real milk and fresh, brownish bananas for the
    husband, I like to whip them up together first before adding
    other stuff. Makes them very creamy and yummy. Also, for a treat, a scoop of Soy-licious ‘ice cream’ is heavenly.

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